Invocation for Beginnings...

Many of you know that this isn't my first blog. It is, however, my first major attempt at putting myself out into the world in a way meant to help improve things.

I don't mean that I am out to fix the world. The world is far more fucked up and broken than I have it in me to fight against. Well, right now anyway. It is always possible that if I get pissed off enough I will decide to rail in some other fashion.

Anyway, that isn't what this is about. This is about affirmation and taking the time to put something into the Universe that is worth putting out there. Making a mark, no matter how small, on the world I inhabit through the eyes of every person I can reach.

That is where you all come in.

I want my friends to know and understand what it is I have been working to become. I want everybody to live in a world that is improved for having had me in it. Most importantly, I want to have a positive impact on the thoughts and feelings of those I care about and those I hope care about me.

This video is something that was brought to my attention a while back by my roommate. Don't worry, it is not near as long as the last one but it is every bit as powerful and important.

The author (?) of this video is a gentleman by the name of Ze Frank. I first became aware of Ze a couple years ago when he gave a TED Talk introducing himself and what he hoped to do using today's media. I remember at the time thinking that it would be a pretty neat undertaking and making a mental note to follow up on the project. Needless to say, I promptly forgot all about it until this video made it's way to my eyes.

I choose to adopt the name of this video as the title of this blog. Every one of us goes through each of our days accompanied by beginnings and most of us are blissfully unaware. Imagine the differences in our lives if we remembered and considered the impact of each of our beginnings in the depth offered here.

I just want to point out what I consider to be a few key phrases I hope everyone can take away from this for how they apply to both ourselves and the people we care about. I choose these five phrases to illustrate what I think are imperatives that everyone should hold onto. For my part, I know that I have struggled to become someone who even has an awareness of these points but I work every day on trying to become better at embodying them.

Let me realize that my past failures and follow through are no indication of my future performance.
We must not become victims of our past.


Let me think about the people who I care about the most and how when they fail, or disappoint me I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself.
We must continue to hold dear those we choose to keep in our lives and we must accept ourselves as the people they also choose to hold dear.


Let me not be so vain to think I am the sole author of my victories and a victim of my defeats.
We are not alone in anything. (Except me. I am an island made of rock. Simon and Garfunkel wrote a song about me. /nodnodnod)


Let me not think of my work only as a stepping stone to something else. And if it is, let me become fascinated with the shape of the stone.
What we do matters and every action or inaction has meaning and purpose in itself.

And most importantly...

Let me enjoy this. Life isn't just a sequence of waiting for things to be done. 
Seriously. Otherwise what's the fucking point.


Anyway, with that having been said, I hope everyone can take something good away from this post and more importantly from their relationship and interactions with me.

Maybe next time I will have a decent rant and take a break from all of this pushing positivity business.
:P

Validation...

I beg you to grant me the next 20 minutes of your life. If you can't spare the 20 minutes now, make a note and come back when you can. But please... PLEASE, come back and spend the time. It is not only worth it to you but to everyone around you.

With that said, after you have watched the following video, make the effort to ask your friends to visit and watch as well. The more folks who watch this and take the message to heart, the better world we can make.

Now, following my plea, I offer you an introduction...

I will probably never be an overly happy person. It just isn't in my nature to smile and be all happy-happy all the time. Consequently, I have put forth a great deal of effort over the past few years to become a much more positive person. So much so in fact, that after buying a truck a month and a half ago and then having my transmission blow with no recourse available to me, I have managed to hold myself off from sinking into endless depression or bottomless rage as I once would have. (Oh so very easily let me add mostly for those who haven't known me for that long.) For my part, I consider that pretty amazing progress.

I found this video a month or so ago through a good friend of mine. Whoever wrote this needs to be congratulated for pointing out something that I really and truly believe everyone should know. Everyone should be able to take something positive away from this video. If you don't get it, maybe you need to take a good hard look at yourself. If you need to talk something out and haven't got anyone willing to listen, shoot me a message. I will help you smack yourself out of whatever funk you find yourself in.



Hopefully that speaks for itself. I haven't for much to add to it but I would like to thank you for taking the time to watch and appreciate the message here.

Thank you again. And remember, you are awesome. You are worth so much more than you are given credit for.

(P.S. - I meant what I said before. If you need a perception check and you haven't got anyone in your life willing to listen or help, shoot me a message and I will listen or chat and do what I can to help you refocus a little but. Or at least help you find a starting place.)

So There Is This Lady...

I know I said it for the title but in this instance, I've decided it bears repeating...

Alight, so, there is this lady.

It really does start there and I am almost afraid to see where it is leading. Everybody hold on to their seats...

This lady, she lives in my apartment complex. Not in the same building as I do but in the one over across the way. Occasionally, I park my truck by her apartment since it is fairly convenient to mine.

She is always there... Always!

Picture it... A forty-something woman... maybe pushing toward fifty... She is sitting in her chair. I mean Her Chair. Nobody else sits in this chair. Partially, it's because she never leaves it to give anyone the chance to sit down. Partially, it's because you know by looking at it as she stares into the void that her ass has worn into it in such a way that no other human being could possibly conform to that seat and have it fit so perfectly.

She is easy to envision.

Her legs are crossed.

Right over left above the knee.

Right foot semi covered by a worn slipper attached to her toes with super-glue.

The leg is bouncing incessantly as if it is running the generator that fills her with what passes for life.

On her knee, she cups her right arm in her left palm.

The right arm stands at attention with a perpetually half-smoked cigarette.

Her whole body is crouched over, lips an inch from the butt end, leg kicking to generate the energy for the next drag.

Her eyes are unfocused but burning with malice as she envisions the world burning at the end of her Marlboro.

Her straw-like hair falls about her shoulders.

Wilting in death.

Waiting for the rest of the body to fall down around it.

I don't know what the lady is thinking about. Not really. But she hasn't moved in months. I don't even think she has changed cigarettes. Is just sits in her hand with a thin coil of smoke rising up to the apartment above.

Would a good person say hello? Would a better person ask her how her day's been as they parked so very, very close?

Am I horrible because it's all I can do to slink away and avoid her gaze. I just... I don't want her to swallow my soul or something. You never know.

Holy crap...

So...

Writing is hard. I have written like 6 second blog posts at this point. They have all sucked.

It is sad. Truly.

Anyway, I just wanted to put some damned thing up to let people know I really am working on it. Just having a bitch of a time finding the voice I want to write with.

Talk at you all soon, I promise.

By Way of Welcome...

Céad míle fáilte. (A hundred thousand welcomes.)
-Traditional Irish welcome -

Welcome to my new blog! It is somewhat sad to have had to lay "Sometimes I Think..." to rest but I fear it's time has passed. I feel I have grown enough during my absence that it warrants a fresh start and so here we are.

I suspect that over the next little while, I will spend some time posting getting to know me blogs for everyone. For those of you who have known me for a while now, you might find some surprises in there. If you haven't met me before, well, I suppose you will soon enough!

As for the blog... I like to write the way I speak. Punctuation is placed where I feel it should be; Sentences are as long as I like. In other words, I don't care much for rules of grammar so please don't correct my writing or my English. (If I misspell something on the other hand, please let me know so I can fix it.)

With that said, a lot of what I will be posting has more to do with thought and thought processes than may be readily apparent. If you have a stray thought, share it. If something I say smacks of utter bullshit, by all means call me on it. I like thinking, I like sharing thoughts, and I like having thoughts shared with me. Obviously, if you agree I won't mind the back-up but if you disagree, please feel free to turn it into a conversation!

I will usually include some kind of a picture or video and I will almost invariably include a quote somewhere. I may choose to post regular segments or reviews or just post completely at random. Chances are, I won't really know what to expect any sooner than you will.

Insert random gratuitous picture here.

I am open to ideas and suggestions but if I don't feel like it is something I can do justice to, I will probably not follow-up on it. Try not to get all butt-hurt if I don't follow your prompts. For that matter, if you suggest something and I post about it a couple of weeks later, try not to take offense if I forget to credit you. I will try to remember but there are times I forget that there was an inspiration before the thought itself.

And so I close this first post with a smile and reiterate that I truly do welcome everyone to share here. I look forward to hearing from everybody and I hope that as I get back into the swing of things, you will all look forward to hearing from me as well.

Talk at you soon with more purpose!

-Me-